I’m Feelin’ Like Some Wishin’

Did you know that dancing like crazy, even if you are actually alone, to some dope mix pumps a lot of blood to your brain? I can feel that because my face is throbbing! Who knew that! And since I am in the best mood – my blood’s pumping, my face is throbbing and I’ve got some real nice track laid down, I’ll write down a wish list! *And take little dance breaks in between!* Here it goes now, in no particular order:

– To get real wasted, super high – the happy kind, and dance like crazy like I just did now, but you know with people around. And this is a weird choice to top a wish list, I know that. But I have never gotten like really, really high. Mostly because I don’t like alcohol, unless I’m shooting ’em. And also I’m super conscious of myself. All the time. So yep, I really wanna loosen up and get down and dirty!

– To watch all the movies in the AFI 100 and IMdB 250 list. All of them. So far I have only watched 18 from the AFI list and 64 from IMdB. Which is pretty measly. So, yep, I wish to watch all the movies. And, btw, these lists are great, they have the best of movies in them and I haven’t yet watched a movie off the list and been disappointed. So you could give this a try!

– Have lots a pillows. More than what I need. Just a buttload of pillows.

– I’d like to have an apartment with a library and a hammock and a secret room. Which is totally do-able btw. 43 Insanely Cool Remodeling Ideas For Your Home – So I have always had a 2 a.m. friend. A 2 a.m. friend, btw, is a friend whom you can call/text/message at 2 a.m. or till 2 a.m. and beyond and you have really good conversation, with no “ummmm, what else?” moment in between. I have always had one – in school, in my first year of college, in fact, till few weeks back, I still had one. But well, falling out. You can’t really help that. So yeah, now I don’t have one. And I’d really like one. Because now it’s just me sitting infront of my laptop till 2 a.m. and being creepy. Not good.

– A bathtub. No idea why most Indians don’t have this. This is the best thing about a bathroom.

– Learn to Salsa. Salsa is sexy, don’t you think Salsa is sexy? I think Salsa is just wonderfully sexy!

– Go to Darjeeling. This December. With my gang. I have a gang!

– Stop being the side-kick in my own movie. Ever felt like in your own head, you aren’t the leading lady of the movie that is your life? I feel that a LOT. I’d like to not feel it. I’ve got to work on some shit here.

– Get a Tough Girl Leather Jacket. Faux. I can feel tough without killing a cow. So that.

– Ok, this is one is for the road. So when I am like 60, if I stay alive till then that is, I’d like to have like all white-hair. Snow white hair. Like Dumbledore’s beard. White hair is just so regal and elegant. Like Dumbledore’s beard.

– To get called “Kid.” Yep, it’s a Casablanca thing.

– Eat Cotton Candy flavoured Ice-Cream. And I have a feeling this might just come true. Tomorrow!

And that’s it. My concise detailed list of wishes. Till next time, I’m stayin’ alive and you stay fancy! *wink*

*Irrelevant, but extremely cute baby pic, just for you*

Photo Courtesy: Picture of the cool secret room – Joshua Lawrence Studios INC Picture of the extremely cute baby – Brandon Stanton, Human of New York

Resolutions 2013

The thing about publicly announcing something and having them all saved up for future reference is that it’s all saved up for future reference. I made few resolutions last year on the exact same day, and though I have never really kept upto them in the past years like I am sure neither have the approximately 7 billion of you, I kinda tried this time. So, I guess that calls for evaluation.

1. Try to make an effort to keep my bed clean. Since it was about making an effort, totally nailed it. Changed the pillow, and dusted off and changed sheets more often than ever in the history of bed making in my room. Ok, so I did not change it every two weeks, but I occasionally cleaned the pile of stuff, and had the whole bed to myself.

2. Stop blasting my head off when my mum calls. Yeah, ummm, no. Did not go as planned. If anything I think I got crankier. Did not think that could have been possible. I am horrible child.

3. Stop watching Friends and start with Star Trek, Star Wars, Lost, Lord of the Rings (also read the novel), The Wonder Years, Boy Meets World, Seinfeld and all the other apparently awesome shows everybody gets so nostalgic about. I did stop watching Friends, and though I only started with Seinfeld from the aforementioned list but I checked out Gossip Girl, Game of Thrones, Girls but I watched hundreds of movies, literally. 170 of them. So definitely tried newer stuff.

4. Listen to The Doors, The Beatles, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd.. and the rest. And yes, I am thoroughly ashamed I haven’t done this yet. Nope, did not check them out. And in my defence, I think I like music better when I hear them out of the blue, you know like in the background of a movie or show, or playing in someone else’s playlist or in the background of some cafe, gets me in the mood better instead of sitting down and forcefully listening down someone’s discography to be in agreement with other folk’s view. Sure they are classics and considered great because well, they are, but then again, I would like to be a part of the generation I am, and listen to newer stuff. Today will be an era someday, and someone else will romanticise us, so better be a part of it now. And sure there is crappy music out there, but there’s good stuff too like Lorde, Eminem, Lana Del Rey, Adele, Macklemore, Imagine Dragons, and so many more. It’s all about whom you listen to.

5. Eat out more. Mission accomplished. Except I did not take pictures of the food to prove it.

6. Go out and hook up. I wouldn’t be a lady if I kiss and tell right? Nevermind that, I got some. Dang! I wanted to be lady! Anyway, while getting some, I figured, was it really worth running around if I have to run away the next morning, probably to never call again? But it did help me figure out what I want, and though it’s not all crystal clear, playing the field isn’t as much fun as I had in my mind.

7. Stop shopping for clothes. Striped myself down to the bare minimum, and you know what? It sucked. It sucked bananas. I shouldn’t have been surprised to come to this conclusion, but shopping makes me very, very happy. While buying the stuff, while carrying the bags of stuff back home, while trying them on, and while wearing them out, all of it makes me happy. Materialism makes for shallow people sure, but it makes for vanity, self confidence and a well put together, presentable person. And presentation matters. Never again am I giving up shopping. Ughhh, ‌I never felt uglier.

8. Travel. *Tears of disappointment rolls down*

9. Work my ass more. Debateable. Some areas, some time. Then my patience ran out.

10. Blog more. I fell through sometimes on it, but I worked it and wrote 42 posts. Obviously I can do better, and I will.

Ok, so not as well as I had imagined, but these are just resolutions, meant to be broken the next day. So that makes it a fair performance. Anyway, bring on 2014, 2013 has been crappy enough.

Idiot Box goes Dumber

Sometimes I stare far too deep into space and then there are flashbacks of extremely embarrassing moments of my life, which squirms my entire being and to avoid that feeling of wanting to be swallowed by the Earth then and there, I switch on the TV, and new problems appear. Seriously though, has anyone switched on their TVs recently? I know all the cute cat videos you need to watch are on Youtube, but still, for fun, has anyone? Well, I have and it has scared the beejeezus out of me. So let’s get down to the breakdown, shall we?

Stupid T.V. by ThatOneGuyWhoYouHate

1. Cartoons: So, apparently, cartoons are dead. And I do not call the Jap imports (not anime, those are fucking awesome) and weirdly animated Indian stuff which are trying to replace the gods like Jhonny Bravo, Powerpuff Girls, Dexter’s Labrotary, Ed, Edd n Eddy, Swat Cats, X-men, Spongebob Squarepants, Recess, Scooby Dobby doo, Tom n Jerry… yeah, they tried remaking that, Tom n Jerry!!! Who fucks around with Tom n Jerry??? You do not mess around with the Classics, bitch! I swear even though we are going high tech and the future generation will probably see real life Star Wars action happening, I pity them, what’s childhood without the Saturday morning cartoons?

2. Movies (Hindi): Every year an approximate of 5643053862534 movies are churned out by Bollywood. So, you’d expect to have a variety here right? RIGHT??? WRONG! Instead you get dubbed Southie flicks or hindi remakes of Southie flicks (choose the former, always! ) and Kabhi Khusi Kabhi Gam, running for 365 days across all of your nearest hindi movie channel in a loop.

3. English shows & movies : So get this alright, you go to this amazing restaurant, and you order say Pork roast, and the waiter goes all like “Sorry, but we can’t provide you with it currently because it is bad for your health”, you ,a little petrubed, now order Mutton Kebabs, and they go again “Oops, sorry, not gonna happen. Totes gonna harm you”, so now you order say, chicken tandoori, they gotta give you that right? “Nyet, nada. How about some boiled veggies though? The best from the house!”

Ya, same scenario. Violence – censored. Make out – censored. Kiss – censored. Jokes with awesome punchline – censored. Mention of boobs, vagina, penis (normal human body part which normal human beings are aware of since it is attached to their body) – CENSORED! So, you can’t watch the sitcoms or the action flicks or the romcoms, so you watch something informative and switch onto the Discovery Channel, and Bear Grylls greets you – in your mother tongue. I don’t know about you but watching Grylls speak Bengali more fluently and using bigger words than me freaks me out a LOT.

4. News – The problem with these 24 hour news channel is that there aren’t really that much news happening that gives you different news every hour of the day. So to fill up the 24 hour time slot we have discussion panels & debates among learned authorities voicing their opinion louder than the other, Amitabh Bacchan drinking tea, discovery of stairways to heaven in Sri Lanka and a breaking news about Rahul Gandhi sneezing every one hour repeated 7597476896874 + n times in a nanosecond.

But times change, except India soaps, those m-fuffers are a constant through time AND channel! So now I lament the censoring of the very risque content of The Big Bang Theory, while watching Asaram Bapu allegedly assaulting sexually a 16 year old girl, Obama planning onto bomb Syria, and Mamata Bannerjee being her crazy old self.

Cartoon strip courtesy : That_One_Guy_Who_You_Hate

What I have learned

When in school, I’d always question the true use of the huge amount of meaningless cramming of information from books whose aggregate weight was more than mine. And now that I have been two years out of school, I am still wondering the same thing. I’d like to correct myself here though; the information overload was not of course a total waste. I occasionally bedazzle my friends with my knowledge of the reproductive system, and I wasn’t even paying attention! But what about all the calculus and algebra I did, I actually liked doing it, I was a math nerd, and it’s a bummer I can’t use it in my everyday life or even in my work field to make my life easier. Hell, I haven’t met one person who actually uses it. But that doesn’t of course devalue those topics, it’s just that the education system should really just slow down and help students to look through things that might actually help them apart from stuffs that just blows their mind off, and not in a good way.

I recently watched the Woody Allen movie Midnight in Paris which apart from having one of the best stories I have seen lately was extremely rich in culture. For all those who aren’t familiar with it, the movies shows how one guy travels back to his favorite era, the 1920s in Paris and gets to meet all of the great of the time – Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Pablo Picasso, Salvador Dali, T.S. Elliot and others. And throughout the movie I found myself checking things on Google. And I felt stupid. Because I wasn’t familiar with so many of the greats and their work. And it’s a real pity. That got me thinking that the education system in India must really get students interested enough to look through these greats. Might be it won’t help us with our economics or physics paper, but a lot of inspiration can be found, and I know for a fact a lot of work by the greats done before our time is so moving, it has the power to shape life. At our school level, more than knowledge, what we actually get is a shape for our personality, and then we slowly mold it ourselves as we go by. And while going through electromagnetism of … (I dunno, I flunked physics) was a lot of fun and I really learned a ton, I learned more in the library browsing through fiction or watching a movie.

Speaking of which, movies are the most underrated source of knowledge. Second to which comes the newspaper. Seriously, newspapers have a bad reputation among teens, which is really intriguing because it means we are more interested in our past than the present, which has a bigger impact on the future. Movies I understand, there are tons of crap shit that comes to our nearest movie theatres every week, but there are some gems among them that just gets hidden and becomes obscure which is later found by hipsters and then becomes a cult classic. Movies about wars, documentaries about greats, even movies that actually depict the times and life of the Present. I bet a person would learn more about the wars in Iran and its implication on the people of Iran and specially women and thereby its implication on feminism today from one watch of the 2007 movie Persepolis than a 50 page chapter would.

I understand that it is rather difficult to expect the education board to cover everything between Higgs Boson particle to the Neanderthal’s bone structure, and it is in fact absurd to ask them to ask the student to read upon everything, but is it too much to ask them to at least work at opening the doors for the student to the much wider world of knowledge than forcing them to drop anything that is outside the curriculum of the student. Getting them interested is I guess, good enough. Photograph courtesy : Sato Photography